In wine there is wisdom,
In beer there is freedom,
In water there is bacteria.
– Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790), polymath, scientist, politician and one of the Founding Fathers of the United States
Have you ever wondered how to elegantly nibble away at moments of silence at the Christmas table? Or how to lighten up the ever-darkening news coming from the TV? Or simply, how to add the right amount of spice to the after-dinner holiday conversation? To help loosen your tongue and support you during this anomalous New Year’s Eve we have created a Christmas conversation survival guide, plus a special cocktail list in the Pop section.
Nothing makes for a better Christmas than a hearty conversation about sex. For you brave folks willing to talk about anything to avoid boredom, we suggest this series of incendiary articles proving that sex is not binary (but rather a spectrum beyond man and woman), that the XX or XY chromosome set is not the only possible combination (there are also XXY, XYY, X, XXX chromosome combinations), and that the body can be genetically “male” or female” and nevertheless have a range of male and female physical characteristics. This article on the subject, published by the science magazine Massive Science, caused so much revolt on Twitter from trolls and co. that they had to dedicate a special post to it.
Neptune retrograde in Pisces slows you down. And, you’ll need a house-deposit loan from your mother in the new year, so this is not the right time to rub someone up the wrong way with a controversial conversation. To survive the intense boredom of the Christmas dinner, and simultaneously play it safe, you’ll need this series of pop anecdotes that won’t upset anyone. You’ll be politely ignored, but that’s the point.
Your mother bought you a pair of Shrek slippers in the wrong size, and your fav Pokemon deck is listed for only 4.70 euros on Ebay. Life has dealt you a bad hand, you are bitter and, rightly so, you want to spread some poison among your relatives. Nothing, then, like the evergreen debate about vegetarianism or, why not, veganism over the Christmas roast. While your sister, married to a financial strategist named Archibald, is just about to chew into a succulent piece of turkey, aim straight for the jugular with this article by Wang et al. that claims that meat’s over-consumption is related to children’s asthma. If this doesn’t hit home , show the trailer of Earthlings on your phone at the dinner table, a famous and controversial 2005 documentary narrated by Joaquin Phoenix, which contains the goriest images I’ve ever seen (it was in fact shot with hidden cameras) about how we treat animals (it’s going to stir things up, guaranteed).
Your zodiac sign is Gemini, you wear black turtlenecks because that’s very Steve Jobs, you have a subscription to The Entrepreneur. For you, we suggest a series of easy astrophysics trivia, this never hurts anyone and always gets an applause from mum. Try the remarkable explanation of why it is not possible at the moment to do terraforming on Mars (because the pressure is too low and there are not enough rocks, polar ice caps, soil or plants to increase it), or give them an update on the NASA Artemis mission, which will take the first woman to the Moon by 2024. Or you could try the juicy “Scandal on Venus”, that is, the issues around the announcement of the discovery of phosphine on Venus (we talked about it in the newsletter), retracted after a few days by a research team that stated that the data presented in the original paper were “statistically unreliable“. Applause and thrills guaranteed for this soap-opera of suspense.
Dinner is long and company is scarce. Here is a list of new or almost-new (we have not invented all of them) beverages that will help you get through the afternoon nap, or past midnight, with style and grace.
THE ENGLISHMAN (a.k.a. by postal fans as the LS28) – a variation of the Negroni using sherry instead of red Martini. Born from necessity because of the lack of Martini in the supermarkets of Leeds, the Englishman briefly managed to establish itself as a fresh and innovative variant to the more classic Milanese cocktail, until the inventors found an open off-licence with vermouth on the shelves. It goes very well with the December 31st Brexit deadline.
THE ISOTOPE GEOCHEMIST (also called Max’s Margarita, after its inventor) – 2 parts fresh lime juice, 1 part honey (preferably orange), 3 parts tequila, 1 part triple sec (like Cointreau). Can be shaken or stirred, but in both cases it must be served with plenty of ice. Like a velvet sledge-hammer, indispensable if you are facing an evening with parents who appreciate Fox News or siblings who believe in salt amulets.
THE PHD STUDENT – ¾ sparkling wine (like spumante), ¼ amaretto di saronno, one sugar cube at the bottom of the glass. Exactly like a PhD thesis, if diluted enough it can last a long time. The amaretto hides the dryness of the spumante, and if you dose it wisely you can drink one after the other without anyone noticing. Classy touch: put the sugar cube first, then pour the amaretto over it, and finally add the spumante. It goes well with questions like “What do you do for a living” or “When are you gonna have children”. For self-funded PhD students, or the editor’s brother, replace both the spumante and amaretto with any beer you can find in an open tin left in the kitchen. Cheers!
The Erasmus is dead, long live the Erasmus. RIP Erasmus – born 1987, died in the UK 2020, but still alive and kicking in the rest of Europe. Generations of UK students spent time studying in Europe, and Europeans in the UK through the Erasmus programme. Brexit finally ended the UK’s involvement in Erasmus this week.
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